Incident
by Harry.P.Love
Summary: Oneshot. Edward's POV. Jacob is Gay...yes I'm sorry...this is Edward's tale in how Jacob tries to seduce himself in into Ed's life. Rated M for language.


Incident

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns the characters, I just play around with them.  
Credits: Props to .Hollister.Baby. For giving me the idea of creating this fanfic.**

I stared at my beautiful Bella, knowing that she'll never leave me. 'Bella I love you.' I whispered  
beside her.  
An amazing smile lit her face, 'I love you too Edward, forever.'  
'Bella, I…I need to talk to you about…well…about Jacob.'  
Her smile faded into a frown-crossed her arms and stared at me.  
'Edward, I've already told you. He'll never replace you-ever.  
I need you. And I have to keep our promise.' I kissed her warm lips.  
'Bella, it's not about that. Today-while we were discussing our treaty-he was looking at me, in a really funny way.'  
A peculiar look shot her face.  
The one that says, "Oh really?"  
'I think...I think…' I couldn't finish my sentence without laughing.  
'Say it Edward. Say it!' I chuckled deeply.  
'I…I think he was…checking me out!'  
I laughed so hard my body lay flat on the ground giggling like hell.  
'Umm…Edward? Doesn't that mean…Jacob…is…gay?'  
I laughed even harder, my stomach hurting, feeling pain worse than what Jane inflicted on me. 'Ow!'  
Bella glared at me. 'Don't you dare lie, Edward.'  
I laughed.  
'I'm…not…lying…It's…hard…to…lie…to…you…'

I said after my uncontrollable laughs, giggles, and snorts.  
'Edward! Stop being mean!'  
'I'm…not! I…mean…he…had…one…of…his…eyebrows…up…with…that…fierce…look…whenever…he..saw…something…he…just…had…to…check…out!'  
Bella rolled her eyes. 'Edward Anthony Masen Cullen!'  
I got back up to my feet.  
'Bella! He touched my arm! Isn't that enough evidence to prove that Jacob is gay?'  
'If he's so-called "G-A-Y" then how come he told me that he loved me? Huh? Answer that Mr. Smarty Pants!'  


'He…made…er…panther, growling, sounds when I stood up. I got scared so I sat back down…far way from him.'

The doorbell rang on Bella's house, thankfully Charlie wasn't here.  
'I'll get it.' I said, acting like a gentleman.

I looked out the peep hole.  
_Goodness!_ It was Jacob.  
I opened the door carefully.

'Hello…Jacob.'  
I faked a smile at him.

' 'Sup Baby.'  
I stared at him…appalled.

'Jacob? Are you okay? Are you on some new medication I should know about…?'  
'Never been better.'  
His eyes were at mine, his mouth with a smirk. I stepped away. He looked like he was about to jump me!

'Jacob…really. Stop it! You're making me really nervous I mean…'  
I was right, he was about to jump me.  
_AH!_ 'Get…off…of…ME!' I yelled. Jacob pinned me down.  
'JACOB BLACK! YOU GET OFF OF HIM RIGHT NOW!' Bella yelled across the room, giggling her guts out.

'Bella! It's not funny anymore! He's going to rip me until I die.'

Silly Bella just giggled.  
'He doesn't look like he's going to rip you apart…'  
She snorted.  
'He WANTS YOU!' She yelled again.  
She fell to the floor as I did.  
'God Edward, you're too damn sexy.'  
He muttered under his breath.  
'What? –No! Shut up!'  
Bella was crying, but she couldn't help herself with her humanly ways.  
'Jacob stop…trying…to…hump my leg! It's not funny! Even when you're a mongrel!'  
'Stop pushing me away Edward. Oh…'

'Stop making those noises! It's not manly.'

Jacob just snarled, in his own little way.  
'No! Jacob! This is not right!'  
'Oh yes it is.' He said pushing me to the wall.

'I say this is wrong. JUST PLAIN SICK! Vampires and Werewolves don't mix.'

'Not until now…' He said, trying to act sexy. It didn't work.  
I tried pushing him off of me. His grip was too much.

'No No No No NO!' I yelled as loud as I could.

'Please Eddie Baby!' He muttered again.

I watched Bella, there was a puddle full of tears on the floor right beside her.  
'JACOB BLACK! NO! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAK!' I yelled.

'Aww…don't be like that.' He said moving closer and closer to me.

I sighed, trying to push him away again.

Bella stood up. She looked like she was trying to help me. Pulling Jacob away.  
'Jake! No! You're not gay! Snap out of it! You DON'T WANT HIM!' She pulled him as hard as she could. Then suddenly slapped his face.  
'Oh yes I do. Jeez Bella, no need to be jealous…'

Her mouth hung wide open.

'JACOB! I will kill you once I'm a vampire. YOU HEAR ME? ONCE I MARRY EDWARD!'

Jacob did that Z-shaped snap. 'Oh no you didn't.'

Bella had a fierce look on her face. 'Oh yes I did, bitch.'  
I chuckled.

Jacobs eyes grew wider as her stared at Bella and let me go.  
'Damn it Jacob! You wrinkled my shirt! THIS WAS ARMANI!'

The lousy gay mongrel ignored me as he looked like he was about to kill Bella.

'You did not just say what I thought you said!' Jacob yelled at Bella.

'Ohhhh yes I did. Now you better get your ass out of here before I get Rosalie to whip you UP!'

'Oh Whateeeeverr! I'll screw the bitch up.'  
The door whooshed open. Standing outside was Alice and Rosalie.

'Who in the name of hell called me a bitch?' Rosalie said with her onyx colored eyes.

'That stupid dog over there, Rosalie.' I heard Alice whisper.

'It's on bitch, it's on.' Rosalie held up her fists like she was in a fight club.

'Rosalie, don't fight him,' I whispered, 'he's not worth it.'  
Jacob glanced back at me. Winked.  
'Aww, you don't need to protect me babe.'

I glared. 'Shut the hell up! Damnit Jacob! I will kill you one day.'

Jacob licked his lips…_Oh hell no._

He moved in closer and closer to me. Ignoring the fight with Rosalie.

They were just laughing to hard.

'No! GAH! Stop…trying…to…take…my…pants…off! Idiocy!'

'Rawrr…aww…I know you like it.'

I made a puking sound.

'Yeah! When hell freezes over! …PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON! GOD! YOU'RE SO NASTY! STOP! NO! GET..GET..GET AWAY FROM ME, AND DON'T LICK YOUR LIPS!' I slapped his face.

'Naughty, naughty.'

'SHUT UP!' I yelled at him. Waiting for the real Jacob to come back again.

I pushed him away, using all the strength I could. He walked back slowly out of Bella's house ans whispered, 'I'm coming for you.' Then winked at me. I shivered while Alice, Rosalie, and Bella were laughing like hell.

'It's not funny.' I snarled at them.

'Oh…yes…it…is…' Said Alice between giggles.

'He—he…was…going…to…RAPE YOU!' Rosalie yelled. I just glared at the 3 of them.

'Ah, ha ha ha…very funny.' I muttered in my sarcastic tone. I wished that I could forget this day, but the girls will always remember.

--

**Two Weeks Later**

It's been two weeks since the…incident. Shuddering at the thought. I laid on my bed, my pajama bottoms on like always.

'Edward! You have a visitor!' Esme yelled from downstairs. I was sure it was Bella.

'Tell them I'm in my room. They can come up if they like.' LOL he sounded like a little kid

I heard the footsteps up the stairs, getting louder. Which meant closer.

A knock on my door.

'Come in!'

The door was swung open. _Shit!_ It was Jacob.  
'Wha- What?! Where's Bella?! Why the HELL are you here?!'  
He ripped off his shirt. _Oh hell no!_  
'I told you I'd be coming for you…sexy babe…'  
I feared and embraced myself for the worst day of my life.

_--So? How'd you like it? R&R Please! _

_--And one more thing. To everyone out there who reads my Harry Potter stories. I'm really truly sorry that I haven't gotten a chance to post new chapters. I've been busy and have had writer's block for Harry Potter. Please Forgive Me!--_


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